Monday, May 30, 2005

Machaan.....tree house for da human apes.. Posted by Hello

Ice cold Beer!!.......A/c for da body Posted by Hello

clay soaked boyz Posted by Hello

gangtaz' Posted by Hello

Success is a long haul...

Someone I know was part of the initial team at IndiaInfoline, an online share trading Co which started in 1995... A company which saw more than its shares of problems dot com boom, bust, consolidation, boom again... it finally got listed at the Sensex, NSE at Rs. 76. He has over 40000 shares since the inception offloaded 5000 last week at Rs 80 something...
I'm not saying this just to blow sunshine up my ass or anything but I sincerely believe that success in a long haul, overnight success is as rare as Halley's Comet... There will be unpleasant times when people will have all sorts of things and advice for you but when you hit bingo the same people will do an about turn. 
I hope MyZus also also get listed on the Sensex or Nasdaq someday, I've a few ESOPS :))

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Saturday Recce

We had an office junta lunch at Delhi Darbar, the food quality has deteriorated big time... though I ate 3.5 rumali rotis, butter chicken and Pahadi Chicken Masala and Dal full tummy but no major taste :))

After office me and my friend Bhatta decided to check out the if the book sellers are back as I wanted to a book "Maximum City". Bad luck... all the bookwallahs from Oval Maidan upto fountain.. barring a few have been evicted, though the media and some local politicians have been little supportive but having spoke to one of the book sellers he said " Matter abhi court mein hai... Aap ko mallum Adalat mein kya chutiyagiri hota aur zindagi nikal jayegi chakkar lagate lagate" .... I hope its not true ...

There are book sellers near Stan Chart Bldg till Khadi Bhavan but they aren't keeping much stock for fear of BMC.

Had a sukha Bhel minus mirchi, Malai wala Nariyal pani after doing the recce.

Since I was a kid I've always been fascinated by the "Kuch bhi Utao Dus Rupiye Mein" stalls.... outside the churchgate subway there is one of them a zillion things from torches to yo-yo's to Chinese batteries to jumbo ball point pens ....... I bought a jumbo red fluorescent Ball point pen .. which looks like some Jedi weapon :)

Also bought a few magazines to kill time on a Sunday from A.H Wheeler at the Station. ....Magazines I bought Outlook Money, Business Today, Business World...

Sunday is another day .....A day I look forward to zzzzzzzzzzz.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Irani Restaurants that are functioning

Some requests and emails from junta prompted to do some wiki and googlegiri on the Irani Cafe's of Bombay...
if anyone has any feedback on the excisting ones, feel free to comment... to give an opinion is good karma :))

Irani Restaurants that are functioning

1. Cafe Mondegar (my Favorite)
2. Cafe Leopold ( 2nd Favorite)
3. Paradise Restaurant
4. Cafe Oval (when I'm short of money)
5. Britannia Restaurant
6. Cafe Ideal
7. Free India Rest. and Bakery
9. Kyani & Company
10. Bastani & Company
11. Cafe Garden
12. Byculla Pharmacy
13. Everest Rest. & Stores
16. Daryush Restaurant
17. Asian Stores
18. Messrs Cecil Restaurant
19. Mocambo Cafe & Bar
20. Cafe Dilbar Bar & Restaurant
21. Congress Bar & Restaurant

Irani restaurants that have shut down

1. Lucky Restaurant
2. Cafe Metro
3. Cafe Shahapur
4. Cafe BBC
5. Moonlight
6. Cafe Royal
7. Gulshan-E-Iran
8. Ruhani
9. Vazir Restaurant
11. Golden Star
10. Rolex
12. Toofan Mail Restaurant
13. Lucky Restaurant
14. Cafe Premiere

Monday, May 23, 2005

Badhwar Park Beach

This is the dirty beach behind my office at Mittal Tower which I see every day from my office window, it stinks big time of fishes, crabs, garbage and god knows what.... But this image made me change my mind, this is also the real Bombay.... The real smell of Bombay..
No matter where I go the smell of the Mahim Creek, Fishes at Churchgate, smell of kababs and chicken at Bade Miya, the Chinese stalls at Nariman point are so much a part of my DNA that I have a craving to come back.....
Like they say love has no smell......

Pic courtesy Kiran -

Only in a Irani Hotel

Its been ages since I had some decent Brun Maska, Paani kam Chai and Pudding , used to have it on a daily basis at an Irani Hotel in Shivaji Park, Dadar.
Most of the Irani restaurant's have either sold off to Shetty's or are selling PAv Bhaji, Pizza and Chinese... I guess another metamorphism of a key element of Bombay's soul.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Office Picnic - Nagaon Beach

Do you remember "Sagar Kinare Dil Ye Pukare" from film Sagar ? That is Nagaon..approximately 7 Km from Alibag. Famous place for Clean,serene beaches,Coconuts, Mangoes and betel-nuts. 
Nagaon Beach - Sagar Kinare Dil Ye Pukare...

Things what we did out there
  • Had breaker (poha,chai)
  • Swimming, rolling, covering ourselves in clay, taking diving catches, little cricket
  • Ice golas too cool ourselves
  • again rain dance, swimming in a tank at our resort
  • Some beers n Pepsi to quench our thirst
  • Lunch - smooth Chappatis, aloo sabji, moong usal (sprouts), rice, dal, salad, soul kadi
  • monkeying around on Hammocks, Jhulas
  • general picnic stuff antakshiri, dumcharadz, extra sounds n songs
We had a fcukall driver n cleaner absolute morons.
Resort where we stayed
Radhangan Holiday Home
Nagaon Beach Road, Nagaon, Alibaug - 402204
total VFM Rs 110 only each person incl breaker, lunch, tea and Macchan (Log-hut)
Fotus are yet to be developed, will post the craziest ones on on blog :))

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Fed-up, Mumbai's top bookie surrenders

Fed-up, Mumbai's top bookie surrenders

Shoban KalaChowkie knew that it would be better to get himself arrested, get out on bail easily and avoid faltoo mein panga with the cops, so that he could be around when the reaction begins with India v/s Australia.
Bombay police is the biggest gang with a toli of 16000 men, D company, Rajan, Chota shakeel, Thakur, Mancherkar,Poojari gang combined are not more than 2000-3000.
Cricket Betting should be made legal and the government can earn huge revenues by way of taxes and spare the middle class of taxes.

I wanna read this ....

Would appreciate if anyone who has it can lend it to me or knows anywhere I can get a disount. My bookwallah near fountain has disappeared due to the BMC anti hawker drive...

check out what amazon has to say about the book

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

NatGeo on Bollywood

National Geographic Magazine Multimedia: Bollywood

Awesome foto story by William Allard on Apna Bollywood.
Check it out, takes a lil time to download but its worth the wait.

Filmy, and proud of it!!!

11 things Bombay can defnitely live without.

  1. Jam packed trains
  2. People shitting on da road.
  3. Hijras troubling people and threatening to utao their ghagra if you don't pay.
  4. Gardulla's under and over every bridge.
  5. People spitting gutka and Paan.
  6. Security Guards and Waiters in bars (;-) ) troubling you for tips.
  7. Renaming overdose of Chatrapati Shivaji Maharaj and his Family
  8. Pampered BMC workers
  9. Rude Pandu's and Govt. staff.
  10. Illegal Zoppadpattis
  11. Corrupt Corporators, MLA's, MP's

Monday, May 16, 2005

How do you psyche someone.......

A Mallu - reject his passport application, deny him entry in Gelf for life & stop showing Shakeela movies on Surya TV

If you have the inside dope on how to phyce your own tribe, Go ahead and add on the comments section..

p.s I think my spelling of psyhce is wrong.. its not to be Confused with the Human Psyche... Its plain big time tormenting...

What's Bombay music??

Apart the filmy music that is played everywhere in Bombay the real music of is the Nasik Dhol played by the infinite Banjo Party's on streets during Ganpati, Holi, Indian cricket matches, weddings, election campaigns etc .
Everyone will stop, look around if he knows anyone,if no one around he too might join the crowd and shake a leg or two.. marao a few whistles, unleash the wilder side or the tapori in everyone of us.

I love this music and this is one music I can get up and dance without having the feeling am I doing the right thing, coz this cool ekdum Raanti dance is all about being yourself and discovering yourself... this was later discovered by Art of Living :))

Download this really awesome Nasik Dhol music ...... Don't juss listen, unleash yourself :)
Your Download-Link:

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Numerous weddings, cricket's funeral?

School Kids protesting against the Govt Decision.

All the maidans in Bombay will not be the same again if the DF Govt has its way, as such there is shortage of place to play and now this, the Government should find some other way of collecting money or else Cricket will die a slow death in Bombay's Maidans

As such all main maidans are encroached by druggies and hookers and now the Nasik Dhol and Shaadi party will add to the mess.

Azad Maidans is full of political rally's and people who are into fasting for no purpose.
Cross Maidans is for Circuses and the Melas
Only Oval Maidans & Shivaji Park has some cricket happening.
All the remaining cricket pitches on Marine Drive viz. Police, Hindu, Parsi, Islam, Grant Medical Gymkhanas are nothing but a money making racket they pay paltry sums of money to the Govt for their leases and earn crores without or with minimal investment for the betterment of the game.

Mid-day's report Numerous weddings, cricket's funeral?

Friday, May 13, 2005

Life is a gamble.......nahi kya!!

I spoke to someone yesterday who told me what a dodo I was to leave a steady job and get into stock-trading and lose money and become a laughing stock.

Well everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, I live life thoda Hatke... :))

On a serious note...
"One should always pursue your dreams if you don't, they will always come back to haunt you"

I did lose money, but trust me the thrill and excitment of day trading it next only to a Indo-Pak match in the last 5 overs. Besides I have my NCFM certification valid for 5 years and I have rented it to some broker :))
Some of the people whom I find cool are

  • People who are well read.
  • People who are opinionated and will stick to their stand.
  • People who made money legally
  • People who are good with numbers (mathematics, futures, options, lotto's, matka etc)
  • People who did things to prove others wrong
  • People who reply promptly (SMS,email, phone calls)
  • People who have not let failures stop their conquest of life
  • People who respect other people's time.
  • People who have lived on the edge and ends of life and made it reasonably well.
  • People who are crazy, have out of the box ideas and inventions.
  • People who tell good jokes
  • People who think India rocks and Bombay Lives on....
If you fit in any of these list, you are cool for me :))

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Digging Bombay

There is a very popular saying in Bombay "Bombay mein do cheez kabhi bandh nahi hoti... Ra## ki Chu@@@ aur Road ki Khudai"

Indian express has documented it well and this is what it says on Mumbai Metropolitan Road Digging Authority

It Sockss!!

While shifting to my new place a big packet of Socks juss vanished, There was chaos in my house and a search warrant had to be issued my dad, mom and me all trying to trace the missing socks. Finally I decided fuck it, ... Idea!!! I can borrow socks from my friend Amol who happened to be in town at the right moment to catch a train to Bangalore.
I went to work like a Bhaiyya, psued shoes wid no socks... thought of buying a pair at Borivali station but no shop was open. The good Samaritan that Amol is, got a pair of socks for me , I wore them in office.
Then my dad knowing my great ability to forget reminded me to buy some socks. I go to Asiatic, the dept. store in Churchgate.. the salesman showed all kinda stupid socks from adidas to Ulhasnagar ka maal ... all freaking expensive 100-150 per pair, he also offered me a discount pack of 3 for 300..... Stuff was good but no point buying it if your are gonna lose it or it vanishes into oblivion ... I tell him "I'll be back"
There is a hawker outside the Churchgate subway..... I buy 6 pairs for 90 bucks!!

I always wonder where all the socks of the world must be hiding??

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

A Ludhiana guy sends 1,82,689 SMS in one month:- , Watch out Hum bhi Tayaar hai!!!

A Ludhiana guy sends 1,82,689 SMS in one month:- - India News -
Right now I'm at 2000-2500 sms per month
I think I can also break his record, I need to connect a data cable, a script written or nokia suite connected.... I have UNLIMITED SMS on my Reliance mobile, lemme know if you wanna be part of the SMS endeavour...
Lets do some kickass giri, Its time people gave reliance a dose of thier own treatment.

Send me your mobile details and your friends who would like to recive gyan on their mobiles :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Vada-Pav ........Unification Snack of Bombay!!

You may ask wots da big deal about the vada-pav, well I think its the only true symbol of Bombay and is indeed cosmopolitan from every possible angle.

The marathi Manoos makes the vada.
The Moslem makes the Pav.
The Parsi-Irani most probably owns the Bakery that makes the pav.
The Goan is called Pavwallah.
You,me and 14 million other Bombayites eat the Vada Pav every other day.

Can you show me anyother food or snack jo itna kuch karta hai??

My Best Vada Pav joints
1. Outside Mithibai college - Wid butter, green chutney, sauce, rocket chutney
2. Sri Krishna, Dadar - only vada no pav, but ek dum mast... .
3. Jumbo Vada Pav, Thane - Jumbo wid lotsa Kanda
4. Outside CTO office, Fountain - Hot and tasty eat with the mirchi.
5. Outside Dadar Stn (platform #1) - Sukha chutney is asli Ghati masala with lasun (garlic)

I haven't tried the Jumbo Vada pav from the franchises around the city, so dunno how it is... Its said to be made perfect and untouched by humans, I guess that could be the reason Bombay doesn't eat it :))

Monday, May 09, 2005

Can you Crack this code???

1 13 7

you gotta tell me wot or who these numbers denote..
Clue : 3 wheels
Post your answers on the comments column?

Naya Trains for Bombaywallahs......

The so called new trains..... major Ch*$*$Pankthi....Its the same old train with some delta steel covering over the existing body and a new plastic-rubber handles, bars of steel are really weak and the trains wont last for more than 6-8 months in Bombay's crowd.
totally Thookpatti ka kaam hai...As if they have taken some Kadiya's and Welders to make a train for millions of commuters who criss cross between Match box homes and cramped offices on a daily basis.

Book Wallah's fight on.. hum tumare saath hai!!

I feel really bad for the book sellers in Fountain,Oval Maidan area whom the BMC is driving away due to some High Court order, These guys were always a part of the Bombay we all know, where else could you get the Da Vinci Code for 50 Bucks or the Harry Potter series for 200 bucks. I think this is all part of the biggies Oxford, Crossroads and Magna who want these guys out of business who really make a great impact on their bottom line.
I will not buy books from Oxford or Crossroads as a mark of protest..... Maybe if I get some book free I may change my mind :))
BMC guys also don't deserve any baksheesh for spoiling n trampling the books.

Here's what Mid-day has to say
Hawkers' novel idea: a books-only zone

Wasting time in it here :))

Bum Lee > Deanimator

via retroblogs..

Back in da colony

2 days widout the internet connection and I was feeling like I'm in the stone age... just moved to a new house in I.C Colony, Borivali, a place where I lived since childhood. The house is kinda mess as if some tornado hit our house... Infinite raddi paper and furniture left behind by the earlier owner... I have to clean up the mess and set my things...
The new internet connection from Pacenet is damn good 64 kbps unlimited at 925 bucks,
At work tomorrow I have to outline a plan to my team to push our sales. I'm working on the draft model as of now :))
My Dad has been drinking beers non stop since last 2 days, and has been greeting all my childhood friends and then asking what is their name... I guess local amnesia has taken another victim.

I intend to make my room really cool and wacky, some cool amplifier connections,wacky compy trolley, FM radio, etc etc... not much ideas though... suggestions are always welcome...

Also I have a few furniture that the previous owner has left behind, lemme know if anyone wants them.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

How a computer screws u in a game of chess!!

Thinking Machine 4: Play the Game

This is how a computer thinks when you play
After looking at this. you'll never regret of losing
against a machine or even contemplate reading about chess tricks !!
I also wonder how powerful Deep Blue must be!!! Gary Kasprov is total kick-ass!!

random testing yeilded this.....

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Friday, May 06, 2005

Kya kool hai hum :))

Many people ask me friends and not so great souls "yaar tu kabhi ghussa nahi hota kya"... I say hota hai kabhi kabhi...thoda time ke liye hota hai in the heat of matter or just my immediate reaction...
What do I do?? do I get even or fcuk the person's happiness.. well no... These are something which I find so 1987 kinda stuff.... I guess in today's world of AOL... wtf is dat... that's art of living... I normally try to discover humour in every situation, do a due diligence and do a post mortem of every situation, give the culprit the benefit of the doubt...  be a good listener, hear out, not jump to conclusions and then use the great mantra "Dil Dariya G### samundar" and inculcate forgiveness... I guess forgiveness sounds too godly something on those lines... or get yourself bribed to a treat or free drink :))
"One who travels light travels the farthest" - Old Zen saying.
So I guess one shouldn't burden one self with unnecessary baggage like jealousy, contempt,  extra pride ,envy, anger
covetousness... wow, I guess if we are able to get a few of this we all be known as the Enlightened One... wid a Halo or a Bulb over our head :))
Disclaimer : 'any resemblance between the characters herein and real persons living or otherwise is purely coincidental'  :))

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Bombay Railway History Group


must dekko site for the 5 million who use the local train services in Bombay or anyone who think the local trains are definitely the lifeline of Bombay.


Random surfing on Google yielded this...Martha Beck is a writer and has been on the Oprah Winfrey show, and all the gyan is courtesy Oprah's site..

By Martha Beck

Martha Beck Someone insults you (and your little dog, too). You can retaliate, whimper—or exercise your own vast power. Martha Beck shows you how to rewrite your own character.

Why Are People Mean?
The first time I saw a T-shirt that said "mean people suck," I thought, Now, there is a heartfelt sentiment, succinctly expressed. I only wished I'd been the author. I mention this because recently I've encountered several mean people, and I've had to remind myself that the concept of authorship is key to surviving these experiences.

I don't know about you, but my favorite ways of reacting to mean people are (1) getting mean right back or (2) lying down quietly to display the word welcome! written where my spine used to be. Annoyingly, my job constantly reminds me that there's a more responsible and effective way to live. That's how it is for us authors. I say "us" because you're an author, too. Not all of us write for publication, but every living person has the power of authorship when it comes to composing our lives. Meanness emerges when we believe that we have no such power, that we're passive receptors of life's vagaries. Inner peace follows when we begin responding to cruelty—our own and other people's—with the authority we've possessed all along.

Why are people mean? Here's the short answer: They're hurt. Here's the long answer: They're really hurt. At some point, somebody—their parents, their lovers, Lady Luck—did them dirty. They were crushed. And they're still afraid the pain will never stop, or that it will happen again.

There. I've just described every single person living on planet Earth.

The fact is that we've all been hurt, and we're all wounded, but not all of us are mean. Why not? Because some people realize that their history of suffering can be a hero's saga rather than a victim's whine, depending on how they "write" it. The moment we begin tolerating meanness, in ourselves or others, we are using our authorial power in the service of wrongdoing. We have both the capacity and the obligation to do better.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Kaal is Fcukall!!!

Orbit National Park, Tigers, Owls, Langoors, Scorpions, bats...... and of course 2 bimbo wid their heroes...
makes sense.. don't worry, Even after watching the whole movie you'll say WTF!!!
Here's da plot...
This is about project tiger ..... saving the wild beasts in the Corbett (orbit) national park.....the jungle is haunted and lotsa researchers and tourist are killed in mysterious circumstances....
2 baba- baby jodis and 2 morons visit the national for their own trip where they encounter death and suspense and some wild animals...
The movie typical of any dharma productions creates hype, gets people to da theatres and fool them big time....
the start and the end of the movie has an item number .... first by SRK- Malaika jodi and then by the 2 baba-bay jodis....
lara dutta and eesha deol are in the whole movie as if they are on MTV grind, I guess no one told them about the macchars and leeches in the jungle. Vivek Oberoi still in the halo that he can bash up Sallu, carries that in the movie I can bash anyone up... John Abraham has done a bit decent role no major dialogs rendered and made decent use of the Sony Viao in the movie...
Ajay Devgan still needs to clean his cigarette stains, I thought after Gangajal he would have cleaned , but then he is filmy kuch b kar sakta hai....
Overall its an ok movie I give it 5/10 for the sound effects and no songs and ok level of suspense..

spotted danny devito in a sari store in udaipur.....we did a road trip to north india, the local guides force you to visit the shops and see infinite sarees..this guy was really funny, I guess the ladies man :))..........I just installed picasa and hello with the blogger feature, makes posting pics real easy without the html jhanjhat :))  Posted by Hello

Gola!!!!!!!!!! yummy and really cool...... you can get a mixed ice slush for 5 bucks with all colors..... why am I posting this.. well I juss recovered from a bout of acute cough thanks to this gola... worth the risk?? ofcourse... maybe sometime sooonish... Posted by Hello

sandy's b'day gr8 parties since then... I hope he makes a few million dollars to throw a party like dat....As for I'm buying the lotto ticket tomorrow... Posted by Hello

Monday, May 02, 2005

Tuesday thunderball amt is 8.70 crores...

Tuesday thunderball amt is 8.70 crores... 
lemme know if you wanna b part  of the lottery pool , I get all my friends from office, bldg, and train to pool in and play together...
20 bucks each...
Khelna hai kya???

Sunday, May 01, 2005

sleepy sunday...

woke up at 1.30 pm
had breaker puri bhaji and big cuppa red label chai....
then checked mail , replied to a few, got requests from around the world for Yahoo 360! invites, including one who snet an anonymous post on my blog.. had to go to his site and leave a message...
3.30 back to zzzzz
5.30 game of cricket in da bldg...
I have the bat, so i get to bat first.... out first ball duck... bowled... fought saying trial ball so got 2 balls to play...

second innings was better, survived 4 balls before hitting the ball outside the bldg, which is out :(

then watched the Truman Show on HBO, 2 packets of Kurkure, Vada Sambhar and Wafers...
and now back online... trying to solve the problems on the world with my PIV machine...

You know you are a Malayalee when.. (back by popular demand)

This is a 4-5 yr old research on my tribe, I guess nothing much has changed... we still love the Gelf,Gold and Booze.
I'm working on da latest on my tribe... till then munch diz...

1.You have rocks, sticks, leaves and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine or in your dinner.
2.You don't cook rice in a rice cooker. You do it the old-fashioned way : water, a big pot, and fire.
3.You buy corn oil by the gallon.
4.Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
5.Uncle Ben's takes over the household.
6.Lipton Tea is bought by the bulk, (especially when there is a sale for it.)
7.You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped on if you don't.
8.The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations or any of the rest of the furniture.
9.Your brothers and sisters names rhymes or have the some letter to start with as yours.
10.MacDonald's is prounounced MAC-DOUGH-NALLS.
11.Your father and mother endlessly tell you stories of how when they first came into this country, they had to eat the cheapest parts of the chicken (eg. the back, necks, etc.)
12.During evening prayer, your Grandmother let's out a wailing belch. (If you could hear it, you know what I am talking about.)
13.You go to FOKANA / youth / spiritual conferences to pick-up chicks / dudes.
14.You have to explain to everyone, "That funny name is my father's house name."
15.Your parents tell you about how long it took for them to get to school, how horrible the weather was in their native country, and how much they still appreciated going.
16.Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come."
17.You are teased about having two first names or else that your first name should be your last and vice versa.
18.Your mom is a nurse or she works somewhere in a hospital.
19.Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from India with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make no sense in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green.
20.You either really, really want to go to NYU or really, really want to stay away from it.
21."You want a stereo!" When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
22.You have to call just about all your parent's friends "Auntie and Uncle."
23.You have 12+ aunts and uncles from both your mother's and your father's side.
24. At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
25.Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say "Eat it anyway. It's still good."
26.You will most likely be taller than your parents.
27.Your parents have either made you play the piano, the violin or both.
28.Your mother constantly professes, "I am not gossiping on the phone. It is important conversation..."
29.Your American friends names suddenly turn into Malayalam names. (eg. Manay, Dhaveed (David) is on the phone for you.)
30.When your friends find out about the name your parents call you at home, you never hear the end of it from them.
31.On long road trips, Mohamad Rafi or devotional songs make the time fly by.
32.Your parents still tried to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
33.You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
34.Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
35.You've had to sit through videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest or library.
36.You have to hide the fact that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
37.Everybody assumes you are Hindu or Muslim, because you are Indian but you stand up strong and say, "I am Christian."
38.Everybody assumes you are Christian, because you are Malayalee, but you stand up strong and say, "I am Hindu" or "I am Muslim".
39.You page yourself before you go out, so you look important.
40. At all the Indian parties, you and the Punjabis are the life of it..
41.You have heard of Malayalee Hit Squad, and you pretend you know someone in it everytime someone mentions it.
42.You say that you are in Malayalee Hit Squad to impress girls.
43.You act like you can dance Bhanghra styles.
44.Your North Indian friends mention a Hindi movie, you say that the Tamil or Malayalam version was the original one and that it was better.
46.Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
47.Your father and grandfathers have hair on their ears.
48.Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages.
49.Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the back scratcher.
50.You are in an Engineering/Computer Science/Pre-Med/Med/Law program at your respective college.
51.If somebody asks you if you know a Malayalee person, your parents say, "His/Her father/mother was in my college." or else "Yes, We are from the same village."
52.You leave for college hating sambar, chicken curry, morra, and chor, but you come back home yearning for it.
53.You get angry about being compared to your other Mallu friends.
54."Patti", "Thendi" and "Potten" are commonly used expressions of insult.
55.You create a name for IRC or AOL chat rooms it's always some name like "Thenga", "Pichati", "Ethikya" or things to that degree.
56.You leave it to your parents to find your spouse.
57.You pretend that you are not a Mallu at all.
58.Your Dad teaches you all the bad words in Malayalam, and your mom gets mad at him for that.
59.People ask you why your dad wears only a towel to pick up the newspaper or the mail.
60.You have a jungle growing in the backyard every summer, with pavikya, padavalingya, etc. growing and all your friends ask you why it stinks in the back yard.
61.(For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable.
62.(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm.
63.You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.
64.Tongue scrapers are not a new fad to you.
65.To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
66.When your American friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.
67.Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In India (or other native country), we studied even more."
68.Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any one off the street unless they're close by.
69.Your parents say, "Calculus? I took calculus in 8th grade!!"
70.You like $1.75 movies.
71.You like $1.50 movies even more.
72.Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
73.People you call "uncle" always smell up the bathroom at parties.
74.If you aren't married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it's too late.
75.You have never met half of your extended family.
76.Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.
77.A horoscope must decide your wedding date.
78.Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
79.Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son.
80.You are sick and tired of answering questions about "the dot."
81.Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried.
82.You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.
83.You sound like "Apu" on the Simpsons.
84.You own a 7/11 or a motel with a name like "Roadside Inn."
85.One or both of your parents skipped at least one year of elementary school.
86.In the smallest of subcompact cars, you still can't see over the wheel without a phone book. WITH the phone book, you can't reach the pedals.
87.You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don't know, but who insist they're related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to anyone YOU know.
88.Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
89.You have trouble paying attention to "minor" items like your kids' social lives, but you know the exact number of the check that you're on in your checkbook.