Joke: Dictionary for decoding women’s personal ads

Got this via email fwd!!

40-ish…………………………..49.
Adventurous…………………..Slept with everyone.
Athletic………………………….No breasts.
Average looking………………..Moooo.
Beautiful…………………………Pathologica l liar.
Emotionally Secure…………..On medication.
Feminist…………………………Fat.
Free spirit……………………….Junkie.
Friendship first………………….Former slut.
New-Age…………………………Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned…………………..No BJs.
Open-minded…………………..Desperate.
Outgoing…………………………Loud and Embarrassing.
Professional…………………….Bitch.
Voluptuous……………………..Very Fat.
Large frame…………………….Hugely Fat.
Wants Soul mate……………..Stalker.