Microsoft Corp's Memo to it's Indian staff

Sorry for the language but this is how the exact memo was.....

Microsoft's Memo to its Indian Staff

This is a REAL MEMO from Microsoft HR Director in Redmond, WA to its
staff of Indian Origin. Every word here is kept intact without
alteration.

MEMO TO INDIAN STAFF

In view of the large number of Indians working in the USA, UK and many
other countries with White People, it has become important for Human
Resources Department to issue directives to their Indian staff.

TO ALL HINDI-SPEAKING STAFF

It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
corporate headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our
Hindi-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
colleagues.

Staff will IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like CHUTIYA, GANDU and other such expressions will not be used
for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion. You will not say
CHUTIYE, AKKAL NAHI HAI KYA TEREKO when someone makes a mistake, or
MADAR CHOD, BHENCHOD when a major mistake has been made. All forms
derived from the verb CHOD are inappropriate in our environment.

2. No project manager, section head or administrator, under any
circumstances, will be referred to as GADHA or CHUTIYA. Lack of
determination will not be referred to as KAAMCHOR SAALA and neither will
persons who lack initiative be referred to as BHOSADIKAA or MADARCHOD.

3. Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred
to as GAND FAADU, if a person is persistent, or if a task is heavy to
accomplish. In a similar way, do not use GAND FATI, if a colleague is
going through a difficult situation.

4. Furthermore, you must not say BHOSADE MEIN GAYA when matters become
complicated. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say

DIMAG KI MAA BHEN MAT KAR. Do not ever substitute 'May I help you?' with
BOL TERI GAND KAISE MARU?

5. When things get tough, an acceptable _expression such as 'We are
going through a difficult time' should be used, rather than MAA CHUDI
PADI HAI or GOTI MUH MEIN HAI..

6. No salary increase shall be ever referred to as KHAIRAAT BAATI JAA
RAHI HAI KYA. Under no circumstances should you call our elderly
corporate partners as BUDDHA KHOOSAT.

7. Last, but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say: YE
KAGAJ GAND PONCHNE KE LAAYAK BHI NAHI HAI.We hope you will keep these
directions in mind.

Sincerely,

Steve Rider

Human Resources, Director Microsoft Corporation