Monday, December 06, 2004

Every hour in Mumbai is a rush hour! - Says Mid-day

Every hour in Mumbai is a rush hour!
A transport study is being planned, starting end-December, to determine whether Mumbai’s infamous rush-hour has extended to most parts of the day, as against the evening and morning timeslots it earlier occupied.
I still don't understand da logic of this study and report what's it gonna achieve and whom is it gonna impress... who cares anyways!! We have da gr8 chalta hai attitude anyways...
I've been traveling in trains, buses, cabs, rickshaws for as long as I remember.... If these guys want to really do a study then it be about "What body parts get affected by Bombay's rush hour traffic" ... and how many are its silent unsung victims...
I count myself as one of the 5 million victims ...
Some dangerous things which da human body endeavors in the Bombay rush-hour.
1) the 4th seat in the 2nd class train is something like Hitler's torture. One is balancing ones body on one on side of the bum, the second part is in the air ( suspended animation kinda thing) .. this torture lasts for max one that one one wiggles in and moves in da 3rd seat... both parts of the Bum on equal level.
2) Share a cab - from churchgate to nariman point. sharing da back seat wid a fat guy and and lady beside u.. its a constipated feeling.. you are trying to avoid touching her for the fear of accidentally maaraoing chance... doing this feat in da back seat of a FIAT is like Crapping in da loo wid da last mug of water left.
3) Auto ride - Andheri to Powai this 45 min ride on a rainy or not so rainy day can easily take u 2 hours also in the journey you will encounter 75 beggars, 25 eunuchs and over 100 tons of pollutants and your face will be metamorphosed into a celebrity... a Tamil Superstars :)
4)Best Bus ride - Powai to Andheri - no seat available... you rush early and stand ahead... but the seats are for ladies... as they put it "Faqt striyansathi" as if its some kinda dildos... every body else gets a seat... even those u enter after you .. no soul gives u a seat.. you curse yourself for giving seats to others specially the oldies and other bastards... fuck its over 45 mins and u r still standing.. you finally resign to you fate and blame it on your karma... you are still standing in the bus... finally just as it nears Andheri station you get an empty seat... you joss pounce on it forgetting you dogma.. 2 mins of bliss for da support starved bums.

Even after so many problems which never seems to end... no body wants to leave Bombay... I guess people get an orgasm or a trip doing da Bombay Rush-Hour :))