Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Bhikhari Inc. (Market Cap 276 Crore)

I never give any alms to beggars... no matter how injured or dirty or handicapped they are. many years ago I saw a beggar washing out his boot polish and wearing decent clothes after his daily routine of begging, he removed his costumes and was giving himself a face wash with a Lifebuoy soap then took a Rickshaw, I guess to some Bar or Pub.
Begging is one of the most organized industry in Bombay, Its ISO 9005 for sure.

Some simple economics on the flourishing Industry.
E.g. One spot Railway Station : Borivali (w).

Beggar ProfileRoleAvg Revenue Per 10 min Per hourMorning Shift (7:30 -10:30)Evening Shift (18:30- 19:30)TotalMonthlyYearly
8 femalesPounce on alighting Rickshaws.106018060240720086400
6 childrenrandomly scattered5309030120360043200
2 leperssitting in corners5309030120360043200
2 FakirsBoys with Dhoop63610836144432051840
2 girls Girls with Gods Photo frame63610836144432051840
00
76823040276480
Lakhs
One Spot2.76
Total Spots in Bombay10000
27600 Lakhsor276 Crores


Public give money to Beggars, Each Beggar reports to the platform or Gully Leader who appoints or fires or transfers his agents, they are either on his payroll or have to pay him hafta, The Gully leader reports to the Local Chota Bhai, This Chota bhai reports to the Local Police station in his jurisdiction and the Local Corporators, The Local Coporators reports to the MLA, The MLA reports to the Big Bhai in Dubai, The MLA is a Public Serventand is elected by the same public who finance the Bhikahri's.

In short Sab Golmaal hai bhai!!

So the next time you meet a beggar or fakir think twice, give him some fruits or food, money is the last thing one should do....
this also reminds me of a joke...When ever a Beggar meets another Beggar or Whenever a Software Engineer meets another Software Engineer..

They ask each other the same thing... On which platform r u working ?


Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Live CNBC

I'm a big fan and avid viewer of CNBC, the love for the channel has prompted me to link the live feed  CNBC feed on my blog
:))

Ipod Shrines :))

ipod-god-shrine-5.jpg
 
 
saintsteve.jpg
 
 
This was one of the coolest Ipod shrines ... Billu praying to Steve is also damn funny...
 
This is part of the Ipod Shine contest at Gizmodo.com
The competition is serious. There are shrines representing Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian-ism, Apple-ism and even Robot-ism.

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala on Assessing Value.

“In markets it sometimes feels like being undersexed in an harem and oversexed in a dessert.” I think good investors should be always feeling undersexed when there is depression and oversexed when there is irrational exuberance.
 
Da man Rakesh jhunjhunwala
Source: DNA Money (Direct Link to the article)
 
via Toughiee's blog

Neat Coke Ad's.... really cool!!


Neat Coke Ad's.... really cool!!, originally uploaded by mzsatish.

Neat Coke Ad's.... really cool!!


Neat Coke Ad's.... really cool!!, originally uploaded by mzsatish.

Chappell's 1 finger salute to the chodu Calcutta crowd!!

Click on the links below to download the Greg Chappell showing middle finger to Ganguly fans in Kolkata:-

Rapidshare:- WMV format | 3gp format

Chappell rocks!! I used to be a big fan of the Calcutta crowd, but this is sheer chutiyagiri.... If you can't support Team India then what the fuck will you do?? Support Bhutan???

I hope Calcutta is banned from hosting matches and Eden Gardens is converted in a huge Marwadi wedding Maidan.

Bill Gates showing his middle finger in this spoof pic

Khaya puya kuch nahi bottle thoda barah!!!
 
 
 

Monday, November 28, 2005

Watch CNBC live!!

http://video-audio.moneycontrol.com/cnbctv18/live_video_audio/live_video.php

Sensex crosses 9k

BSE sensex crossed 9000 a few moments ago :))
India Rocks...


Sensex hits 9000, ends at new high of 8994
The Sensex today crossed the 9000-mark, and after touching an intra-day historic high of 9005.63, ended at a new closing peak of 8994.94 points at the Bombay Stock Exchange (BSE)

Priceless Old Tickets, Post Cards, Time Tables .

I'm sure all of you must have collected the most ridiculous of things during the kiddo years . Things I used to collect include Stamps, Coins, Bus tickets, Train Tickets, Beer Bottles (to sell), Miniature booze bottles, Marbles,  Stickers, Billas (bottle caps(Thumsup, Gold Spot, Canon Beer), Chocolate Wrappers (Cadburys Choco-mania time), Pencils.
I must have wasted at least a good few years in collating all of them only to see my mom sell all of them to the Bhangarwala or give it to the Bhangi...
 
What made me write this post, Well I got a mail for Jay about Old Trains Ticket Collection by Senthil.
 
Jay's mail...  
 
Folks,

Just an heads up on some priceless scans of old tickets, post cards,
time tables and other memorabilia of GIPR, BB&CIR, NWR and EIR
submitted to us by Senthil Kumar can be found here:

http://www.irfca.org/gallery/Uploads/OldTickets/

Thanks,
- Jay

Shiv Sena - The fight goes on!!

Shiv Sena fought with the Gujjus in 60's.
Shiv Sena fought with the South Indians 70's
Shiv Sena fought with the Dalits and Panthers in late 70's.
Shiv Sena fought with the Communists and Kamgaar Unions in the 80's
Shiv Sena fought with the Muslim in the 90's.
Shiv Sena fought with the North Indians in 2000.
 
Now they are bored with no one left, so they are fighting each other.
 
 

Friday, November 25, 2005

TradeOver - new online trading simulation

Check out this cool new online trading simulation game,
http://www.tradeover.net 
 
It's a game where you have 1,000,000 USD to invest in world corporations,
major indexes, commodities, currencies and other.
 I think it's a good learning tool for investors worldwide since you can
try various markets, stocks  and strategies (also quite advanced ones,
like short selling) - without burning yourself or your real money... ;-)

The URL where you can register for free:
http://www.tradeover.net/beta/

Just Thinking!!

Satish Vijaykumar

I'm thinking putting a nameplate like this in my house :)) its Bombay's most identifiable sign
Made of stainless steel, this 4-inch by 4-inch nameplate has undergone a world-class chemical etching process that protects it from seasonal and environmental damage.
Lemme knw your views.

Bihar Rocks


Bihar Rocks, originally uploaded by mzsatish.

Now that Lalu Raj is over, Biharis hopefully wont have to travel around India in search of Rosy and Roti.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Valuation Models Made Simple

The following story is by Mike Price, a guest writer for Shai Dardashti blog on Grahamian Value.

Once a wise man purchased a cow for $750, the cow proceeded to produce about $500 of milk each year, after about ten years it had a calf; this story is about the calf.
After about two years with the calf the farmer decided to retire so he put ad in the paper to sell the calf.
Two days later a guy came and offered $250 for cow, saying it was he could get for slaughtering the cow and selling all of the meat, and brain.
Click Here for the Complete Article

 
Thanks toughiee for the link.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Ice Golawallah near my office (Lower Parel)


I dint have the Icegola on the stick, I had the icegola slush in the glass as I have
tendency off spoiling my Shirt while enjoying the golas... I had all the flavors
Kalakhatta,Red,Yellow,Purple, Lemon, Jaljeera, Orange :))



Ice Gola : Its an awesome mouth slurping Indian Ice slush made of
syrups of all colors in rainbow with a tinge of chat masala or salt-pepper :))




My previous post on Golawallahs
http://bombaylives.blogspot.com/2005/08/bottles-of-colourful-syrups.html

Lafda in Dadar : Brking News

Angry Shiv Sena's supporters create trouble in Dadar apparently after Sarportdar lost the elections..
Cops have sealed Dadar... 
Will confirm the news with my friend in NDTV 

Duplicate No 1 - Nakli Anil Kapoor

Duplicate No 1

Mid-Day doing what it does the best, Fully faltoo reporting... Taking Nakli Anil Kapoor around the city and chu banaoing the public :))

This is why I love Bombay's favourite Tabloid :))

DesiPundit Slogan Contest - No Scratching only Slogans!!

One contest where you don't have to scratch to win...

Easy hai, Slogan likho, Inaam jeeto

Desipandit .. the maa-baap of desi blogsphere is are looking for DesiPundit slogans.

Mind you, it is not restricted to the idea of desi blogs, the slogans should reflect the spirit of being Desi (whatever that means to you and all of us). They can be one line, two short lines, or three very short lines…heck, if one word does the trick, great! If you are better with images than words, do it graphically. Go wild! Let your creative juices (6)flow. Send us your entries at desipundit [at] gmail [dot] com (or in the comments) along with your mailing address

PRizes
DesiPundit magnet buttons for the first 25 ‘creative’ submissions
$10 Amazon.com gift coupons for the top three entries.

The contest ends on Sunday, November 27, 2005 at 11:59pm CST


And yes if you win, do treat me for a beer :))

Monday, November 21, 2005

Filmy PublicSITY ka Naya Funda - Nakli Blog's

Filmy Promo karne ka naya funda.. nakli Blogging :))
 
Tie up wid a famous portal, get a designer baccha, create a template, Get a few talented filmy journos to fill-in da blanks and create innovative hype and controversy ... results = PUBLICITY and millions scanning & probing the site for masala and gossip.
 
Prakash Jha and Rediff have done an innovative Ad cum Chu Campaign by harnessing the power of  Blogosphere. There will always be filmy bloggers like me in this nation of a billion people who will anyways do publicity either good or bad for the movies that Bollywood dishes out.
 
Check out the nakli blogs created for Aprahan.. 
 
There is no business like Show Biz, I wish Blogworld is absorbed into it :))
 
I hope producers ask me to review movies and paste the pics and clips on my blog, apan Filmy hai kuch bhi kar sakta hai kya!!
 
As for me I'll watch Aparhan, Prakash Jha makes nice movies :))

Mission Flat Decor

If you ain't aware 'yours humble moi' has bought a small flat, 550 sq ft approx, I'm on my mission to make it a cool place to live in :)

I don't want it to be the nice n clean wonderful house, coz it doesn't reflect the person I am, I have made a list of things which I intend to have in my house...

List of things I think would make my home cool.

Carpet
Drawing Board
Lamp
compy table
gaddas
rocking chair
creative speakers
bean bag
strobe lights
wi-fi enabled laptop
sleeping bag
Xbox
Railway Clock
Worldspace Radio


I would appreciate if you could also suggest stuff which you think would look cool in my Flat.
Email it to me (satish.vijaykumar@myzus.com) or feel free 2 post it in the comments section...

Friday, November 18, 2005

Perception & Reality in Bombay

 
Perception
Bhaiyas in Bombay reproduce remotely in UP 
Reality
Its all  about  loving your family.
 
 
Perception
Mallus hairdo is an oil slick
Reality
Mallus secretly pilfer oil from Gelf
 
Perception
Gaon aunties  take bath only once a week
 Reality
They play Rink football at Orlem every day
 
Perception
Taxi & Rickshaw driver getting fucked to due rise in Petrol Prices
Reality
They are fukcing the public by running on CNG.
 
Perception
Local Mochi's have deadly utility value
Reality
Mochis all around Bombay sell drugs and are never touched by BMC.
 
Perception
BEST A/c buses is a wonderful service to the public
Reality
BEST A/c buses provide wonderful service to noty couples seeking privacy at low cost.
 
Perception
Virar trains the fastest trains
Reality
The motorman is shit scared of the commuters
 
 
Perception
Do  Madrasis only sell Vada, Idlies, Coffee and Singhdana
Reality
They work in IDBI, ICICI, Cap Gemini,  Mantralaya after work they set up the stalls
 
Perception
Parsis  are a dying race.
Reality
They have relocated to Canada and US
 
Perception
People go for early morning jogs in Bombay
 Reality
They got to crap on the roads, railway lines and Sulabhs.
 
Perception
Gajkarn is a god
Reality
He is a crouch scratching Bhaiya
 
Perception
The Bhais of Nagpada are the most dangerous guys
Reality
The Koli Women of Versova are more dangerous
 
Perception
Shiv Udyog Sena generates employment for Son of soils.
Reality
Vichare Courier does it.
 
Perception
Sensex, some thing that Gujjus and Marwadi dalal's do to make their millions.
Reality
Something that scares rest of Saving A/c Indians.
 
Perception
The Dabbawallahs are the only ones with Six Sigma perfection.
Reality 
08:41 Churghgate Fast from Borivali  (return public who board from Malad)who every fucking day same train, same seats, same noise, same bhajan , same farson, same Manikchand, 99.999% accuracy every!!!
 
Perception
Gardullah's are charsis and big time dopers
Reality
They are Hippy's who have come to India for enteranl purification and meet Mahesh Yogi
   

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Salsette-Trombay Railway

 
I bet u dint know this about Bombay  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salsette-Trombay_Railway   
 
I wonder when the Metro rail, Sky bus and underground will come, they have yet finished the 4 line track between Virar and Borivali...
 

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Bhaiyas of Bombay!!

Have you ever seen a Bhaiya buying anything at a Chicken/ Mutton shop, Bar or Chinese stall???

There are over 45 lakh UPwallahs and Biharis in Bombay, wonder where they go??

I think Tehelka or Sansani or Red Alert should investigate where do they all go, its kinda surprising as majority are migrant labour, do they have underground malls and dhaba's ...
Sochna Padega ???

Bhaiyas are one of the most hardworking people in Bombay, From morning to mid-night you encounter them in all roop and rangs.... It starts wid your Doodhwala Bhaiya, then the Paperwala, then your Rickshawala, then you Paanwala (cigrettewala), then railway ticket counterwala, then a flood of them in the train then, your office securitywala, the liftman, the Phoolwala in your office, Bhelwala near your office, even the sandwichwala, and then the late night ice-cream malaikulfi wala....

What Dubai is for Mallus, Bambai is for Bhaiyas... They rock :))

You can hate them,despise them,abuse them, love them but cant fcukin ignore them!!


Mucchad Paanwala
My friend
Vivek created this cool site on the Famous Mucchadpanwala
http://www.paan.com/

Random thoughts - Elections Priya Dutt v/s Madhukar Sarpotdar

Abu Salem gave guns to Sanju Baba.
 
Sanju Baba got guns to protect his family from Shiv Sena Mobs.
 
Congress put Sanju Baba in TADA.
 
Bal Thackeray helps Sanju Baba get out of jail.
 
Sanju Baba thinks  Bal Thackeray is a father-figure to him.
 
Sanjay Nirupam is now with Congress.
 
Madhukar saportdar also got his guns from D, he went to become MP.
 
Sunil Dutt is a good friend of Thackeray.
 
Shiv Sainiks are upset at Balasaheb for not targeting Sanjay Dutt now that Abu Salem.
 
Public love the Dutts, jiska mummy Mother India woh desh Drohi nahi ho sakta....
 
Bal Thackeray may have radical thoughts but he got MJ to Bombay, built flyovers and the Expressway.
 
19 November 2005 has another great clash.
Priya Dutt v/s Madhurkar Saportdar  or  India v/s South Africa, Bangalore,
 
Deciding whom to vote is more confusing than playing Suduko, I think if India is batting second or play badly while it bats first there would be heavy turnout if not Priya Dutt has a great chance to do get a Lal Batti on her car...
 
 
 

Mid-Day fully faltoo reporting

Mid-day gets Pundit Shankarlal Sahu, a palmist to check out an unidentified finger print....
His analysis throws some perfect pronouncements...  
 

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

India Today - 20 companies to watch in 2006


Cool Companies with the highest potential to impress with their
performace over the coming year:-

Air Daccan - Air Line
DQ Entertainment - Animation hypermart
Geometric Software - Poroduct Lifecycle Management (PLM)
United Spirits - Spirits (merger of 10 spirited comapanies of Vijay M.)
Indian Rayon - Diversified co. of Aditya Birla
Bilcare - Packaging for pharma comapanies
Cavinkare - FMCG
Centurian Bank - Banking
SBI - Banking
Tata Steel - Steel
Symphony Services - Software
GVK Biosciences - Bioinformatics Services
WNS - BPO
Maruti Udyog Ltd - Cars
Midas Communcation Technologies - corDECT (Digital Enhanced Cordless
Telecommunications)
NTPC - PSU
Rico Auto - Auto Components
TKML - Toyota Kirloskar Motor Limited - Cars & Accessories
Tejas Networks - Optical Networking
Vimta Labs - contract-research-space in Pharma Inds

Source: India Today Int'l

Sounds, Music and Noise - Radio Bombay

My Odeo Channel

My Podcast channel - Radio Bombay....

my first podast(Nov 14, 2005) 00:38
You can listen to this audio by visiting the link abovefamily:verdana;font-Also pls send any sounds, noise and music which you think connects to the heart n sprit of Bombay... mail it me .. apan Radio Bombay mein dal dega :))

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Help Wanted: Angel Employees

Nice article in Red Herring on Angel Employees

I've been with MyZus over 5 years, In 2000 and the Tech-boom the moods was bullish and employees in the start-up world were willing to take the risk, I don't think people are ready to take the risk anymore. Primary reasons home loans, no major  success stories, credit card bills, peers making money in safe jobs, family tension.
 
As for me would I take the risk?
Yes if I believe in the Company and its team, I shall still go for it.
 
Maybe when I do my start-up would like to have Angel Employees as Partners, working on a few business plans more on that later :))

Super Cool Kenya Ipod

Check out the super cool Kenyan Ipod
 
 

TeenPattiParty!

Something Bombay needed badly bigtime is online... Check out www.teenpattiparty.net

I downloaded the software, I was the only guy online.. But soon I believe more people will log on...

what's teen patti
read here
http://www.pagat.com/vying/teen_pathi.html

I remember playing teenpatti with Marbles, Kaju seeds as a kid... Nowadays sometimes we play with real money on small denominations :))

Friday, November 11, 2005

Story of a derivative trader

rediff has a nice story on derivative trader Nalin Pasricha
http://in.rediff.com/money/2005/nov/11perfin1.htm

This story reminds me of a close friend who wrote a deadly software to do program-trading but had to wind up, due some losses incurred, but I still think that he had a deadly software and someday, he shall be back with a smarter solution :))

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Google Job Opportunities

http://www.google.com/jobs/lunar_job.html

I wont be surprised if 3-4 million gultus apply for the job....
... Appukuttan who has a tea stall there wouldn't mind a few customers... The last guys who came was Saboo and Chacha Chowdhary.... The Americans never went on Moon, did they??

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Nakli Hero's

Mid-day has a nice story of the nakli hero's or duplicates....
Duplicates make hay while the stars shine

For every 1 successful duplicate there must be atleast a thousand unsuccessful ones, most of them end up becoming one after being chadaoed and flattered by his freinds or gaonwala and he ends up taking the Chappra or Puspak Express to Bombay...
I remember once at our school annual day nakli Sanjay Dutt had come, maan there was mass hysteria even shady teachers were acting as if MJ had come...
Would I go and watch duplicate stars... ofcourse, I'm Filmy too :))

Friday, November 04, 2005

From Prince to pauper?

OCTOBER 18, 2005 AT A MUMBAI HOTEL

Former India skipper Sourav Ganguly arrives at a city hotel for a fitness test conducted by Indian team physio John Gloster and BCCI doctor Anand Joshi

YESTERDAY, AT THE DOMESTIC AIRPORT

Former India skipper Sourav Ganguly at the Mumbai domestic airport yesterday. Ganguly is here to play Duleep Trophy match for East Zone. Pics: Sameer Markande

Poor Dada, the fans, media and even Nagma seems to have ditched him....

Mid-day has a story ..http://ww1.mid-day.com/sports/national/2005/november/122496.htm

Like they say "Tough times don't last... Tough people do!!", I hope Dada finds his lost form and get back into the team...

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Put Your Vices Together for Cofee-beer

 

beer-n-coffee.jpg

Feast your eyes on the newest Swiss invention: Coffee-beer, a "fermented coffee beverage" that has been patented in every major market around the world by Nestac (part of the Nestle empire). The beverage is basically a super-caffeinated liquid that pours like a beer but smells like coffee. No alcohol included. To make it, coffee beans are roasted and the chemicals that contain the natural aroma are collected in a cryogenic condenser and then converted to coffee oil. The rest of the roast are ground into powder, mixed with yeast and sugar and fermented for 4 hours at 22 degrees Celsius. This way, the yeast still metabolises but doesn't convert to alcohol. They then mix the oil in with the liquid and nitrogen and that is injected to make foam.

Invention: Coffee beer

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Diwali moods across the city

Fire on water: The skyline above Marine Drive lit up by an exploding rocket. All the festivities of the day culminate in the light and sound of firecrackers going off across the city
Let the fun begin: Children as usual are more interested in the fireworks than any of the religious ceremonies. Some kids playing with sparklers at Parel yesterday
Booking their blessings: Businessmen do the Chopda puja at the Swaminarayan Mandir in Dadar (W)
Praying for prosperity: Laxmi puja being celebrated at the Bombay Stock Exchange
High on life: It was more light than sound this Diwali Here, some people admire a lit anaar at Marine Drive
Pics : shadab Khan, sameer markande, B L SONI  (Mid-day)